The 5 non-negotiable values for life
There is so much out there to help us be better versions of ourselves. None of it is wrong.
The truth is being a better version of ourselves is a never ending story and something your body and mind will already be contributing to. We are geared as humans to continue that journey until our demise. The very constitution of human cells means they have adapted and evolved to form what we have become – hopefully the finest versions of the human body in your evolutionary line to date. We cannot stop the nature of being human – the necessity to evolve and improve exists in us all. Does that make sense so far?
Ok, so why focus on being better then?
Great question. We’ll get better naturally, right? 100%, our bodies and minds will adapt to the challenges they face. However, in this immensely complex world it can feel we are all constricted more than set free, this leads to immense conflict in our brains and bodies. It can be difficult seeing clear ways forward and that can slow us down and create lives much less lived. Have you seen that before?
Why are the 5 non-negotiable values important?
The 5 non-negotiable values are essential if you want to live a simpler, more fulfilled life.
The world we live in has become hugely complex.
Life can be made much easier if you know what you want to do or be, right? Or you have great mentors around you or things just work out for you down to your pre-disposed mindset. There are so many things that can help us all fly in life.
But also life can be incredibly tough. We might not know what we want to do or who we want to be, we might not have mentors or great pre-dispositions to face the challenges in life. We are constantly faced with a series of options and knowing who we should be or what we should do for everything to turn out the best can be the biggest challenge of all, right?
Knowing that you want to live the very best life is the only default needed I’d suggest from here. If we are lucky enough to know what we want to do or who we want to be then that is an added bonus. But for all of us who want a simpler life the only default I’d suggest is that we must want to live the very best life, do you? The 5 non-negotiable values will give you the framework to do that.
What are the 5 non-negotiable values for life?
There are only 5 areas of focus if you want life to be brilliant. The 5 non-negotiable values for life are
- Find the best reason for doing what you do (Belief)
- Offload the moment things occur (Honesty)
- Embrace structure and help it evolve (Agile Structure)
- Prioritise yourself, manage your conditions. Get others on board (Balance)
- Value everyone and everything to build forward (Inclusiveness)
Warning: If we drop any one of these areas then we slow and potentially inhibit our progress of our improvement as humans. We’ll all do bits of these areas in part, we just need to practice daily at getting better at each area and exist in environments which support these five values
Does this all make sense?
How can we get better at Belief?
The funny thing is we already do this all the time. We don’t do a single action without our brains attaching a purpose to what you do. All you have to do is get better at taking control of the narrative.
Let’s have a quick example
I say “give me £5”, what do you do? do you give it to me?
Now, I say “give me £5 for a taxi”, what do you do? Do you give it to me?
Now, I say “give me £5 for a taxi, my kid has burst their head open on concrete I have to get to hospital”, what do you do? Do you give it to me?
The action required in each situation is the same, did you have the same reaction to it? The only change is the clarity of purpose. I started to control the narrative in example 2 and 3. How much do you control the narrative?
Without clear narrative around the purpose in the things we do we can’t expect anyone to join us on any journey.
Our conscious selves attach purpose to everything. You’ll always have an answer why you did something. Is it the most powerful reason? Usually not. To truly release your 100% commitment and proactivity in anything you must find the best reasons for doing anything.
When you start controlling the narrative you will assume the activity is low value add and a bit artificial. Over time you’ll realise it is you just taking better control of how you apply yourself, and you’ll find it much easier to get others on your journey.
Does this all sound right to you?
How can we get better at Honesty?
A lot of the time we suppress so much don’t we? From birth we are encouraged to keep a lid on things. Initially we have no ability to comprehend what that means but over time we stop screaming out when we are hungry or uncomfortable and start developing into vehicles which control/suppress what our brains are telling us might be important, right?
Clearly there is a balance to be had, or is there?
Each environment will be different and the norms of what is expected from us in our disposition or character will vary from environment to environment. That is another discussion and one I’m afraid which is usually unique to each environment and group of people.
The most important thing to recognise in honesty is that our brains are geared to trigger/elicit emotional responses when it recognises the need to do so. Remember we are vehicles geared for constant improvement. That is the one thing that cannot be removed from a human disposition. The brain is clearly the most powerful vehicle in this space, for all of us. We don’t always understand our emotions or why the brain has triggered a response. The one thing we must all recognise in ourselves and even better recognise in each other is that each emotional response will be the root of a brain spotting something, and we have a duty to recognise it, don’t we? In ourselves and in others.
In babies we can’t explore why the brain is triggering emotional bursts, sadly. But in toddlers and above we can start to. This is the only response we should all commit to. Exploring why things feel the way they do, the moment they occur. All the time.
The better we get at exploring why we feel the way we do when we feel it, the faster we can move as individuals and teams. Let’s face it if we don’t we potentially allow things to sit inside us and disrupt us or we never capitalise on all the opportunity that sits within our brains. Does that make sense?
Clearly, creating environments which embrace and commit to honesty will untap huge potential and deliver maximum speed of achievement.
How can we get better at Agile Structure?
A lot of us, myself included, have a poor relationship with structure. We might see it as restrictive and a mechanism for micro-management or a law that must be followed at all costs rather than the beautiful support mechanism for improvement it must be seen as.
The first thing we need to do is remove the fear of structure. There are two common fears
- The fear oppression and restrictiveness
- The fear non-conformity and poor results
Both sides are toxic to the best relationship with structure.
Structure has to be seen as essential to helping us get things right and improve from
Structure has to be as immediately flawed, the moment we set things down there will already be an improvement in the making, and all structure requires constant support from everyone to be as useful as possible for everyone moving forwards
If we get both these views right, structure has a chance of being awesome. If we don’t then the fears will restrict the best relationship and structure will fail.
The funny thing is, we spend a lot of time as a species on trying to engineer best results with structure. The painful fact is we are all constantly evolving and updating. Structure is awesome, it is just severely flawed and requires constant attention from everyone, right?
How can we get better at Balance?
We all build up so many conditions in life, don’t we? Some of mine have been quite strange: I used to only wear jeans and white shirts, I only wanted beer out of a glass receptacle. I won’t go on. But we build up conditions in so much, don’t we? People have to speak to us in certain ways, I only do things if people say please… there are so many potential conditions that if not met we feel affronted, we feel upset, we start to be in a less positive place. Right? Does that ever happen to you?
Understanding our conditions is essential. Be proud of them. They are part of what makes you you. It is what helps you feel better about the world, right? There’s nothing wrong with any condition. They are our quirks, they are what adds more to the world. And I’m absolutely certain there are great reasons behind each and every one. You just probably need to explore the reasons to understand them fully yourself.
Observing and respecting our conditions allows us to maintain our own individual balance for longer. It allows us to sustain our efforts in things for longer.
It is clear we can all ignore our own conditions and become vehicles for delivery. If there was a fire in your building how quickly would you drop some standard conditions. Would you worry about the smoke getting into your clothes? We know we can all make sacrifices, but should we? The only person to make that decision is you, and you alone. The stronger you get at prioritising what is important to you and why it is important, the more balance you will maintain in your world and be a reliable resource for everyone around you. Does that make sense?
If this all does make sense, the work needed is owning all your conditions and recognising why they are important, discussing that with those around you and getting everyone on board. Who knows people may join you on these journeys and it could become more fulfilling for everyone.
How can we get better at Inclusiveness?
The short answer is to press the reset button at every opportunity. Never feel anything other than “Everything is a product of everyone trying to achieve better”.
No matter how much something has felt as wrong or even worse a personal affront. You quickly press the reset button and assume “Everyone is just trying to achieve better from their perspective”
If you constantly do this you are creating a platform to build from constantly
If you don’t do this you will create bitterness, judgement and resentment which will only limit your growth forward. Can you see that?
None of these five values are easy, they require constant work. True inclusiveness is probably the hardest. Certainly for me, positioning people constantly as people only trying to improve things has been tough and wanting to collaborate to build better forward has been tough, it is only natural we maintain memory of the things that felt bad to us. But if you truly want better, it is the only way. The reverse only leads to toxic behaviour and we slow and limit growth. We won’t be able to communicate or build. We must press the reset button and build forwards all the time.
The problem is we are all human and we have a notion that people must suffer when they hurt us, right?
I’d propose all we want to do is make sure people aren’t hurt going forwards and we take the learnings from things to build forwards. Of course the emotional side of us feel unless others see the pain they can’t understand. I’d agree a little. But this doesn’t mean anyone has to suffer. We just have to be able to communicate, speak our brains and build to where we all want to get to – a better world for us all, right?
This area of Inclusiveness is probably the toughest to get right as it requires a Spock’esque detached approach in part as we are all likely to suffer moments that build a prejudgment in everything. We must remove this and openly embrace everyone and everything for their role in supporting better moving forward. If we don’t we severely limit our ability to truly grow.
Hopefully the read has helped you come to a place of clarity that there are 5 areas of focus for us all to constantly balance and get right for the best lives, has it? We always want the conversation to continue so please do reach out and chat via our website or social channels.
We have been looking at team culture, individual performance and leadership in Tribe365® since 2016 and have built a huge amount of intelligence in this space. We want everyone to benefit from all our understanding. We have developed studies, systems and questionnaires to evaluate and support the strength of the 5 non-negotiable values in your organisations, teams and individuals. For anything email us on firstname.lastname@example.org